Here is the problem with the retarded theology of the Abrahamic, monotheistic god. Omnipresence is stupid. But let’s back up and go through it.
When people invented gods, they basically took things they thought were good in humans, and just made their gods do it better. When multiple cultures came in contact with each other, a game of one-upmanship occurred as one group wanted their god to beat out the other gods. So instead of just really great, they re-invented their god as the best, or the bestest! Or the bestest ever! Or the bestest ever to infinity! Since your god knows an awful lot, then our god knows everything! Your god has cool magic powers? Our god can do anything! Your god has to check up on you, but you can trick him when he isn’t around? Our god is everywhere simultaneously! Your god has mood swings? Our god is always perfectly loving! (Ignore the bit where bible god literally says he is a jealous god then kills everyone….)
In the end, god becomes omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. But here’s the funny thing. The followers of this deity always imagine their god using his ability to be everywhere all the time with unlimited power and knowledge in cute and loving ways. Guiding a surgeon’s hand. Comforting someone. Helping someone get the job. Blessing a wedding. Answering their prayers.
But if their god really is everywhere all the time, then god has a lot more experience than they would like to think about. If god is everywhere and knows everything, then he most definitely knows what it is like to snort coke off a hooker’s ass. Their god must know, if what they say about him is true, what it is like to suck dick at the bottom of a gay orgy. Their god must know the challenges and benefits of a polyamorous relationship. Their god must know what it is like to be on an ecstacy trip. And he is definitely watching you every time you jerk off.
Fun, but it is much worse. If god is everywhere, then he definitely is in the room when a Catholic Priest rapes a young boy. God is there when a child gets cancer, and later when the child painfully succumbs to the disease. God is there when a child fades from starvation. God watched each and every Jew and each and every Nazi in all of the concentration camps, and witnessed every lash, every bullet, every gas chamber, every mass grave, every cremation oven. God stands by as children are beaten, sexually assaulted, trafficked, and killed. God is guiding a guy’s dick into a woman in a hotel room, when both of them are married to other people and their spouses will be devastatingly hurt.
Religious people don’t like to think about that stuff. It’s uncomfortable. But that is what it means to be all those omni’s. We don’t say someone can speak every language if they can only speak English and American. We don’t say someone can drive anything if they can only drive an automatic transmission compact car. And we don’t call anyone omnipresent that doesn’t see 4 year old girls being raped by their father.
“But Spartan Atheist! Free will!”
Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself in the ass until you bleed out on the street. Yeah. That’s what I think about people that make excuses for child rapists. If your god is such an idiot that he can’t figure out a way to create the world where children don’t get raped, then he isn’t very smart. If your god is such a wimp that he can’t stop a child from getting raped, then he’s weak. And if he has the power to stop it but doesn’t, then he his an evil, evil, evil monster. And you are defending that fucking evil monster. So go fuck yourself. Allowing children to get raped is ALWAYS worse than inconveniencing someone’s free will. Do you know how I know? Because it’s a CHILD BEING RAPED.
Yes, the problem of evil doesn’t go away if you ignore it. If your god really is all knowing, present, and powerful, then your god is a fucking despicable piece of shit. It simply must be.
Luckily, the truth is your god is just as dumb, clueless, and weak as you are. Which makes sense, since he is but a figment of your imagination.
The Spartan Atheist