Is everyone ready for another episode of “holy shit the bible is stupid!”? You see, there is an excuse out there that we should all be gullible idiots and just accept religious claims based on wanting it to be true, or something. According to stupid religious thinking, faith is considered something to strive for, ignoring that it is the best way to get suckered into giving up all your money to con-men. And to bolster this concept, the Christian folks have this story in their book about a guy that doubted until he got to see Jesus in the flesh, but “blessed are all the suckers that believe without evidence”, or words to that effect. But what does the bible really say about his believers? Let’s talk about doubting in the bible….
So my first question is simply this. Why all the subterfuge?
Why is it that bible god/ Jesus are so intent on making sure they don’t have to prove they exist for people to believe they exist? Why are they so bent on assuring they don’t have to interact with people in any measurable way that would support their existence? Why would the all-powerful, all-loving giant dude that wants to have a relationship with us give himself a loophole to not be around? Flip the script on that for a second.
Imagine if I were anyone else, like, ever. Imagine I run a company, or I’m in a relationship, or I work at a job. Now imagine I tell my co-workers/ employees/ friends/ spouse that I don’t have to prove to them I care by producing, or paying them, or being there. Imagine I instead tell them they need to just accept that I’m capable and if they don’t see that from me they should just BELIEVE that I’m an excellent worker, or employer, or partner. Who the fuck would put up with that? Even people in abusive relationships occasionally get loving moments from their partner!
So before I even tear apart scripture, I think it’s obvious that this entire thing is already borderline evil. Only a psychopath would START a relationship by enforcing a loophole in case they abuse or abandon. I digress, on to scripture. For your reference:
Matthew 28: 17 And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted.
Mark 16: 14 Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen. (Mark ends at verse 8 in the earliest texts, so this passage was stolen and inserted later)
Luke 24: 13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him… 30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?… 40 When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet. 41 And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” 42 They gave him a piece of broiled fish, 43 and he took it and ate it in their presence… 45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.
John 20: 26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” 28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” 30 Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31 But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
As you can clearly read, there wasn’t ONE un-believer. In popular conciousness, Thomas kinda gets scape-goated as the one guy that didn’t believe until he saw. Supposedly, everyone else believed. But no! That isn’t how it went at all!
Matthew ENDS (the very last paragraph) with “some still doubting”, even AFTER they saw everything. Mark details how Jesus had to bitch out the remaining 11 for not believing the women and other people that were gossiping about him being alive. Luke details an entire episode where, basically, Jesus used magic to keep people from understanding scripture or from recognizing him, then reversed the magic so they could recognize him and understand scripture.
And of course, the famous Thomas story, where Thomas is a “doubter.” But he wasn’t the only doubter, just the last doubter. Literally everyone else also doubted, but by then had already physically seen Jesus. They didn’t believed out of faith, they also required a physical demonstration to believe.
I’ll say that again for emphasis. NOBODY believed Jesus came back until they saw him, but after the last guy physically saw him and believed, only then did Jesus quip “Fuck you guys, from now on just tell everyone I’m real, I love them, and will help them find their car keys. I’m outta here.” Again, I’m paraphrasing.
And if I can go back to Luke for a second, if the bible is in any way consistent, then it is totally ON GOD whether or not people recognize Jesus. He apparently has the power to “open your eyes”, whatever the fuck that even means, in order to recognize him or his works. So if I’m an atheist because I don’t “see Jesus”, it’s god’s fault entirely. He could “open my eyes” at any time, but for some reason enjoys tricking people into not believing so he can torture us in the afterlife, I guess. Your god is a fucking dickhead.
***Contradiction alert!*** According to John, once everyone is on board with Jesus coming back to life, he spent another length of time on earth. That time is 40 days according to Acts. But in Luke, as soon as his old buddies figure it out he goes outside and flies to heaven, never to be seen again.
So what does THE BIBLE actually say about doubting? 1) Jesus says just be gullible, even though every single one of his own buddies required actual evidence. 2) God has an abuser loophole. 3) Jesus wanted his buddies to finger his holes. And 4) I don’t believe in Jesus because Jesus won’t let me.
God damn this book is stupid…….
The Spartan Atheist