That’s right. Armageddon is not a thing. Never has been, never will be. If you’ve ever been told that Armageddon is a magic event that is supposed to happen when the world ends (or something like that), then your source was dead wrong. Armageddon is not a thing, not an event. It won’t happen in the US when people float to the sky, or when a gigantic asteroid plows into our planet. And no, this is not a guess by me, or a prediction, or a feeling. I’m absolutely 100% verifiably correct in saying this.
Why am I so sure? Because Armageddon is a PLACE. It is not a thing, an event, or a phenomenon. It is a place. It always was, and always has been a place, and specifically the place where the war at the end of the world was to take place. And what this means is that Armageddon can NEVER happen in the United States. Ever.
Don’t believe me? The word “Armageddon” appears exactly one time in the bible:
16 Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.Revelations 16
Saying Armageddon will happen is about as dumb as saying Appomattox happened. Or that the people of San Franscisco waited for the Appomattox. Nope, it’s a town in Virginia that unwittingly hosted a civil war battle.
But let’s keep this rolling. I didn’t just write this article to point out the grammatical error, after all. No, I’m both technically correct that Armageddon is not nor ever will be a thing, but I’m also just, well, correct.
You see, just like so may other parts of Revelations, the Armaggedon bit is just, um, what’s the word? Ah, yes! Dumb. It’s just dumb as shit. First, the big picture shit. Big picture, Revelation is basically a book of a guy writing down some wierd dream he had. Supposedly, this is prophesy, yet here we are something like 2000 years later and it hasn’t happened. That is a failed prophesy. Open ended prophesy’s are not prophesy, they are wishful thinking. No, a prophesy either happens or it fails. This one solidly failed about 1900 years ago.
Second, because the bible is so specific as to the location, it should be noted that this shit will NEVER happen in the United States. So anyone that discusses end of the world stuff happening here is, again, not just grammarly incorrect. They are actually incorrect.
It gets worse. There are a few other places named in the story, not just Armageddon. For example, Babylon will be host to some events. Only, Babylon ceased to exist about 1000 years ago. Talk about failed prophesy.
Then there are the bits that just can’t happen, because that isn’t how the solar system is arranged. Like two angels hanging out together, then one pours a vial out in the sea, and the other pours out a vial on the sun. Literally impossible. This literally impossible action is part of the prophesy. And people wonder why we atheists talk about failed biblical prophesy.
Seriously. The Earth is a ball 7,917 miles across. The sun is a ball 865,370 miles across. They are 91.4 million miles (8 1/2 light minutes) apart. Picture this in your head. Let’s scale this down so 1000 miles is now 1 cm. Earth is now 7.9 cm (3.1 inches) across, which makes the sun over 865 cm (over 28 ft.) in diameter, and they are 914 meters apart (2,998 ft, or over half a mile). Picture two creatures standing side by side on a ball 3 inches across. Now picture one of those creatures somehow reaching over the top of a 28 ft. ball over half a mile away. I submit to you that if something is capable of reaching over a half-mile, that creature can not stand on something 3 inches across, let alone with a buddy. But that is the Revelation prophesy. And remember, this will supposedly happen near Armageddon (which is a dot 0.001mm across on our 3 inch ball) which is a place in the middle east, and near another town that no longer exists at all.
I’ll say that again. The bible tells us that two figures will do something that is physically impossible at a place near a place that is no longer in existence. Armageddon isn’t even a thing, yet 40% of US voters think it is, and will happen to them here in their lifetime.
We are fucked.
The Spartan Atheist