Armageddon: Not a Thing

That’s right. Armageddon is not a thing. Never has been, never will be. If you’ve ever been told that Armageddon is a magic event that is supposed to happen when the world ends (or something like that), then your source was dead wrong. Armageddon is not a thing, not an event. It won’t happen in the US when people float to the sky, or when a gigantic asteroid plows into our planet. And no, this is not a guess by me, or a prediction, or a feeling. I’m absolutely 100% verifiably correct in saying this.

Why am I so sure? Because Armageddon is a PLACE. It is not a thing, an event, or a phenomenon. It is a place. It always was, and always has been a place, and specifically the place where the war at the end of the world was to take place. And what this means is that Armageddon can NEVER happen in the United States. Ever.

Don’t believe me? The word “Armageddon” appears exactly one time in the bible:

16 Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.

Revelations 16

Saying Armageddon will happen is about as dumb as saying Appomattox happened. Or that the people of San Franscisco waited for the Appomattox. Nope, it’s a town in Virginia that unwittingly hosted a civil war battle.

But let’s keep this rolling. I didn’t just write this article to point out the grammatical error, after all. No, I’m both technically correct that Armageddon is not nor ever will be a thing, but I’m also just, well, correct.

You see, just like so may other parts of Revelations, the Armaggedon bit is just, um, what’s the word? Ah, yes! Dumb. It’s just dumb as shit. First, the big picture shit. Big picture, Revelation is basically a book of a guy writing down some wierd dream he had. Supposedly, this is prophesy, yet here we are something like 2000 years later and it hasn’t happened. That is a failed prophesy. Open ended prophesy’s are not prophesy, they are wishful thinking. No, a prophesy either happens or it fails. This one solidly failed about 1900 years ago.

Second, because the bible is so specific as to the location, it should be noted that this shit will NEVER happen in the United States. So anyone that discusses end of the world stuff happening here is, again, not just grammarly incorrect. They are actually incorrect.

It gets worse. There are a few other places named in the story, not just Armageddon. For example, Babylon will be host to some events. Only, Babylon ceased to exist about 1000 years ago. Talk about failed prophesy.

Then there are the bits that just can’t happen, because that isn’t how the solar system is arranged. Like two angels hanging out together, then one pours a vial out in the sea, and the other pours out a vial on the sun. Literally impossible. This literally impossible action is part of the prophesy. And people wonder why we atheists talk about failed biblical prophesy.

Seriously. The Earth is a ball 7,917 miles across. The sun is a ball 865,370 miles across. They are 91.4 million miles (8 1/2 light minutes) apart. Picture this in your head. Let’s scale this down so 1000 miles is now 1 cm. Earth is now 7.9 cm (3.1 inches) across, which makes the sun over 865 cm (over 28 ft.) in diameter, and they are 914 meters apart (2,998 ft, or over half a mile). Picture two creatures standing side by side on a ball 3 inches across. Now picture one of those creatures somehow reaching over the top of a 28 ft. ball over half a mile away. I submit to you that if something is capable of reaching over a half-mile, that creature can not stand on something 3 inches across, let alone with a buddy. But that is the Revelation prophesy. And remember, this will supposedly happen near Armageddon (which is a dot 0.001mm across on our 3 inch ball) which is a place in the middle east, and near another town that no longer exists at all.

I’ll say that again. The bible tells us that two figures will do something that is physically impossible at a place near a place that is no longer in existence. Armageddon isn’t even a thing, yet 40% of US voters think it is, and will happen to them here in their lifetime.

We are fucked.

The Spartan Atheist

21 thoughts on “Armageddon: Not a Thing

  1. Oh pshaw! You’re just jealous because you’re not going to be one of the “saved.”

    I mean, really! It’s really all real. Really! For goodness sake, it’s in the most holy of holy books … and you would doubt that??!!? 😮

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol! Wierd, how I don’t believe some dumb, impossible shit. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post.
    You can tell quite a bit about a person — where their head is at — by how seriously they take the Book of Revelation. Fundamentalists are duty-bound to accord the damn thing some credibility because of its inclusion in the Bible, but there’s no getting around the plain fact that Revelation reads like the work of a schizophrenic.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I really is like reading a train wreck. Lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. misrepresented facts. as usual.

    Like

  4. As usual tsa has misrepresented the facts.

    Like

  5. change your name to wimpy atheist as you are too much afraid to post comments . We know that you are totally devastated in your previous post in an logical and scientific discussion with me. Now, you are just a dying snake with no little substance in your article. Lol. everybody knows that what you have written is false information pulled from your asshole.

    Like

    1. Anantha, tell me a fact I got wrong. One chance only. If you preach, you get blocked.

      Like

    2. “[F]alse information pulled from your asshole.”

      Gee, that’s probably what some level-headed people said about John of Patmos.

      Like

  6. “Supposedly, this is prophesy, yet here we
    are something like 2000 years later and it hasn’t happened”. Did Lord Jesus christ mentions any specific dates in the Bible about armageddon?.

    Answer Yes or No.

    Like

    1. Anantha, no. Jesus never mentioned Armageddon. The Bible does.

      Like

      1. To be precise — Armageddon is mentioned in the Bible only once, in the Revelation to John. Jesus had nothing to say about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah, I’m not sure where Anantha was going with this question. I was quite specific that Armageddon was only mentioned once, and in Revelations. So I was factually correct, despite this assertion I am somehow not.

        Like

      3. NO! I wasn’t sidestepping your assertion, if that’s what you meant. I was just trying to emphasize to Anantha that you were totally correct. Sorry if it didn’t come across that way.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh, I understood your point! All good!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Armageddon is the definition of all the kings in the world assemble or gather together in a place to fight against God. This is not related to name of the place. You dumbass.

    Like

    1. St. Stupid, so if some people gather together in a place, and we name that place, it is not a place?

      If a thing is a thing, is it a thing or not a thing? Lol!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Armageddon is the name of the final war which is fought by those atheist kings against Gods. Further, you are such a dumbass that you can’t even able to understand in which context it is mentioned. it is a ibru word not an english word.

    Like

  9. Dear wimpy atheist, you are whining dog and you have a brain of a dog. not even capable of understanding in which context it is mentioned.

    1. Firstly the revelation doesn’t mention any specific number of years when it is going to happen. It mentions about final war between all the atheistic kings in the world and God.
    2. even according to you if it is mentioned as name of place this place is a future name of place which is not existing now.

    Its hilarious to hear from the mouth of debauchee a sinful fucker like you who speak about Bible. Lol.

    Like

    1. St. Stupid, thanks for literally telling me what I already said, then telling me I don’t understand. You should really work on your reading comprehension.

      Also, you are now blocked for failure to read my article before posting. Good day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t you just love the true “Christ Spirit” that emanates from some believers? It’s enough to make one want to convert, yes? 😄😅

        Liked by 1 person

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