Did Adam and Eve have a bellybutton? At first glance, it would seem so.
(I hope I’m allowed to post a picture from the Sistine Chapel without violating copyright laws…)
This is a question that I certainly was asked in my youth at one time, and it seems I’m not the only one, as it was asked on a debate page with people weighing in quite ardently. You see, if they had belly buttons, then the logical conclusion is they must have been born and not made. Bellybuttons are the result of the umbilical cord stub retracting, after all. So if they were just made one day as adults, then they never would have had umbilical cords, and said cords would not have withered and retracted in infancy. But on the other hand, the bible doesn’t say they don’t, the bible says they were made, and they’re always pictured WITH said feature. It’s a classic example of people fighting over a stupid myth.
First, the obvious. This painting is not a photograph and thus we can gleam no real information from it. It is merely an artist’s depiction from the later 15th century. Secondly, we simply have no way to investigate it. Even if Adam and Eve were real people, and actually lived only a mere 6000 years ago, their physical bodies are long gone. So it’s a fairly silly question to ask anyway. And if we know one thing about religious people, they love silly crap. So… why am I asking it?
Well, there are other attributes of the human body that don’t just go away, and I’m talking about traits that are genetic. Take attached or unattached earlobes for example. If you have attached earlobes, you have them because one or both of your parents had the gene for them. So even without your parents, we can look at your earlobes, and the earlobes of your siblings, and do the math on the chance that your parents had the same earlobe configuration.
So while it may be worthless asking if Adam and Eve had bellybuttons, it is fitting to ask if they had attached or unattached earlobes because it is a genetic trait, which means they would have received it from their parents. Without parents, neither attached nor detached earlobes happens. And without them having that genetic trait, their offspring would equally be unable to have either trait. Which is impossible. Which indicates the whole thing is a made-up story.
Other genetic traits also indicate that we had parents, and they had parents, etc. What color was their skin, eyes, and hair? Was Eve a redhead? Could they roll their tongue? Did they have average length arms, or were they positive or negative on the ape index? Did they have dimples? Freckles? Curly hair? When they clasped their hands, did the right or left thumb lay on top? Was Eve a colorblind carrier? And if not, why is anyone in the world ever colorblind? Did they have a full mouth of wisdom teeth? If ANY of these questions are answered EITHER “yes” or “no”, it indicates that they had parents. Again, bible is crap.
And while we’re talking about genetic traits, let’s discuss learned skills. If Adam and Eve were made as full grown adults one day, how were they able to walk and talk? How were they able to perform fine motor movements? How were they able to speak? These skills are “learned” in the brain as repeated movements begin forming pathways in the brain’s wiring, that becomes a shortcut as a myelin sheath forms around that pathway. No myelin sheath, no fine motor skills, speaking, walking, processing information, or even socializing in a normalized manner. In order for bible god to “poof” Adam and Even into existence, he would have to have pre-formed their brain with myelin pathways already formed. But this brings up more questions!
For example, if bible god pre-made the myelin sheath for speech, then he would have had to pre-determine Adam and Eve’s accent. He would have to have predicted their fine motor skills required to walk and engage with their particular environment. He would have had to predict their mannerisms. And he would have to take into account if they should be able to drive a stick! LOL! Seriously, though, these are things that are learned over time, and require brain development. Which means we can’t just poof adults into existence and expect them to act like anything but large babies. Mumbling, drooling, uncoordinated, pooping themselves large babies. Adam would not have been able to name the animals, much less process which one of them he should most likely have sex with, then reject the premise, and then be thankful that god decided to give him a female human instead. (Yes, that’s what happens in the bible. Look it up.)
“Ah, Spartan, bible god just made them with the DNA set as he desired and pre-formed their brains!” some may say. Which is a really weird thing to assume. The same god that was being too damned lazy to bother to name all the plants and animals spent extra effort determining if Adam had attached earlobes, how he handled social situations, and pre-skilled his arms and hand for his environment? But beside being a random ass guess, it also means that when Adam and Eve acted disobediently, god would have been responsible for forming their thinking patterns to be disobedient! Attitudes and how people respond to situations and personalities are also learned! And with no time to learn these traits, god must have pre-programmed Adam and Eve to act as they did.
Once again, it comes down to god intentionally designing the world so that humankind would fail, the result being he would have us under the thumb of eternal punishment here on earth. And if you don’t merrily accept punishment here on earth and kiss his ass, you get punishment forever.
Luckily, there isn’t a shred of evidence that Adam and Eve actually existed. The mountains of evidence we do have suggests it’s all made up crap, just like every other made up religion in the world ever. So did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? Of course they did, because they’re just fictional characters anyway. Just like almost everyone else in the bible.
The Spartan Atheist