Jesus magic hair powers

Jesus magic hair powers?

That’s right, you’ve read that correctly… It seems some religious circles believe that the hair on top of your head, yes the hair shaft that has no “biochemical activity” which is considered dead, has some power with Jesus, or God, and get this, his angels. Confusing, yeah, I know. Imagine women with their hair dragging on the ground. I’ve seen it. Just read further for more mind altering confusion.

The hair is of so much of a concern by religious folks, that even if you Wikipedia “hair” you will find a Religious Practices heading. Muslims, Hindus, Mennonites, Amish, Pentecostals, et cetera, yeah, some of these have some weird ideas about hair–and where does this weirdness come from? For extreme Christians, who believe Jesus is God, this belief of magic hair all comes from that damn 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 verse from the Bible. I’m not sure where the rest of the different religions got their hair power thinking, but from what I gather, it is really important to God. So important, that you can lose your salvation if you uncover your hair!

I know the United Pentecostal Church International believes that you can totally go to hell if a woman cuts her hair. They have written so many books on the subject, apart from the Bible, to explain all about the secret power a woman has with God himself, if she does not cut her hair at all. Some of their “revelations” that they get from God to write these inspirational books, don’t even come from the damn Bible–they just make shit up and say they had a revelation from God to give a message to all because apparently the Bible didn’t explain good enough. One such book is Power Before the Throne. One big wig Pentecostal says about the book, “This book is a must for every woman of God who wishes to make her calling and election sure in His great kingdom.” Bologna! My daughter reads this book. She won’t even let me cut her scraggly ends because she is afraid God’s wrath will fall down on her. “Look, Miriam my daughter,” I would say, “I cut my hair, did anything bad happen to me?” “But mom, the angels will depart from me!” she cries.

Here is the verse that claims magic hair powers–1 Corinthians 11:10For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.” This and only this verse gives Pentecostals the “authority” to tell their congregation that the angels will “depart” from you and you won’t be under their protection if you cut your hair–it is a glory to you and reflects God’s glory. The angels only recognize you if you have uncut hair and only then will you have power with Jesus to do miraculous things. (Oh yeah, they only use the King James version too.)

How the hell does hair reflect anything of a magnificent God? How the hell does dead protein give you power? How the hell does hair give a woman a spot in heaven? Read their books to find out–the Bible doesn’t even say these damn things.

And I assure you, it is all bullshit just like 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 which has been so controversial amongst other church circles anyway. Some believe you must wear a head covering. Others, like the Pentecostals, say the hair covering the Bible speaks of is uncut hair–it is a shame for a woman to cut her hair! Corinthians 11:6. Others say, this verse doesn’t mean anything but a culture the Israelites had back in the day and doesn’t pertain to us. No matter how you look at it, it is all simply a bunch of malarkey.

So, if you see anyone with very long hair on their heads, even dragging on the ground, you can bet it is one of those who thinks they have Jesus power on their heads from uncut hair.

Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you so well please!

Darklove

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15 thoughts on “Jesus magic hair powers

  1. “Big Wig Pentecostal” in a post about hair kind of cracked me up a bit. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Do they know how utter ridiculous it makes their god sound? Who on earth would want to worship some entity that was that crazy!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I don’t have much on top anymore. It’s decided to pop out everywhere else on my body though. Am I still saved?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sorry Jim. We’re screwed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My salvation is so important that I have tried rogain, herbs, steroids, and now I’m down to wearing a wig. I just hope when I kneel before god he doesn’t tug on my hair and see what a bald frickin loser I am. I’m going to hell Ben. None of my prayers have grown any hair. Im so scared!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha! Actually, in that circle, men with long hair will go to hell, that is also in that 1 Corinthians verse…so you’re good, except for all the other rules you have to follow to get to heaven! Haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well, I believe I am a lesbian trapped in a man’s body. So, am I good or what?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Calm down Jim. No need to wig out. I’m right there with you. My yearbook photos show a giant wave of pious locks but apparently I lost favor with God since then. He walked away from me…with a good portion of my hair.

        *sigh* It’s too late for us Jim. At least we can serve as a warning to others before it’s too late.

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  4. Middle Eastern cultures seem to have always had a thing about hair. Even today the theocracies like Iran are completely nutzoid about women’s headscarves. You can get arrested of the religious police think it’s not covering your hair properly.

    Yes, it’s dead protein, but in humans hair is also a secondary sexual-attractiveness marker (markers like that are often made of “dead” material — think of peacock tails and ruminants’ antlers). And we know how Abrahamic religions fret and fume over things like that.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I read somewhere that women prostitutes used to shave their hair, so it was seen as somewhat ‘dirty’ (for lack of a better word) for a woman to not have long hair. That doesn’t explain why mean weren’t supposed to have long hair or head coverings though…

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      1. women prostitutes used to shave their hair

        Curious, if true. One imagines that would have been bad for business.

        Looking at traditional Arab, Jewish, etc. male clothing, it never seems to have been the case in the Middle East than men weren’t supposed to have head coverings. It’s probably not healthy to expose your head to the intense sun they have there without some kind of protection.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yeah it’s odd. Well, woman who didn’t have head coverings were SEEN as prostitutes or an adulteress, whether or not prostitutes actually shaved their hair? I would take that with a grain of salt. It wasn’t just limited to Middle Eastern women though.

        Other than what Paul says in 1 Cor 11, I am not sure if men would’ve avoided head coverings as it’s very impractical as you mentioned.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. At one of the brethren churches I used to go to, the women wore head coverings and the men were explicitly forbidden from wearing any kind of head covering. I didn’t realise initially and wore this hat advertising some kind of beer, lol. Later on a friend of mine told me to read 1 Corinthians 11 and to ‘have a think about it’. Damn, what a douche he was at times.

    Like

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